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Old 09-13-2009   #1
Zethco
 
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Exclamation * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Please, I need your help.

Here’s a link to a brief description in a post I created yesterday. It will give at least some cliff notes.

This is very hard to make brief, as it’s an amazing story of many many unfortunate events that caused me to fall very ill. At the same time, many more devastating events all occurring as a direct, domino-like effect from my condition. All the while I’ve continued to get substantially worse as some mystery illness destroyed my body at will.

This began as a simple surgery 17 September 2008. Mayo diagnosed me on 17 March as having an Autonomic Nervous System, Periphial/Polyradicular Neuropathy caused by unknown events. Noting that my symptoms were atypical and very severe. MANY of my severe symptoms were NOT explained by that diagnosis. They were right, but clearly there was more to the story.

I’ve continued to worsen substantially and until late August, I was bound to a wheelchair. Barely able to walk and unable to even speak or communicate in any way by that point. I simply could no longer care for my own basic needs.

I recently realized I would soon lose this fight and orphan my beautiful boy, Aedan, if I didn’t somehow find enough strength for one last fight to get medical help. And haven’t yet been healthy enough to marry Nikki as I’ve planned for so long, much less buy even a basic ring.

By some minor miracle, an Emergency Room visit on 10 August sparked my mind a bit and I re-read my medical records. On 14 August, Nikki and I came to Cali to present my findings to my Neurologist at Stanford (Palo Alto, CA) who now agrees. When she left for Chicago to care for our Son, I asked her to take the wheelchair with her so I’d be forced to fight that much harder once again.

We now know what caused the Neuropathy and what’s destroying the rest of me. I can’t yet publically say who/what caused this as it will likely turn into an uphill legal battle at some point in the distant future. I WILL though tell all who will listen in person.


Once I finished with my last Neurology appointment on Tuesday, enough dust settled for me to truly see the reality of what I’m up against in the rest of my life.

Bottom line is this: I WILL BEAT THIS. Somehow. No matter how long it takes. I’ve now all but completely missed half of Aedan’s 2 years. I can’t bare thinking I could miss more or miss it all. I'm just honestly out of gas and headed toward a brick wall. Fast. And I need support from my Brothers to keep me going somehow.

Your overwhelming response of willingness to help with injectors woke me up and gave me a little life again. Imagine yourself in my shoes. As a strong Man and brand new Father, and you’ll save me from having to actually type what you’ve done for my spirit and for my will.

I need to stop being so stupidly stoic and prideful and actually ask for help. Something I’ve never in my life done until these posts. I’m the one who helps, not the other way around. Just never occurs to me that there are people who would help me.

I have decided to finally launch the website I was planning to start/use as a Blog to help others like me. But it just occurred to me that maybe I can also help myself one last time. Once at least a rough outline is completed, I’ll launch the site with the actual details of what happened medically at least.

Detailed story will be found shortly at www.MichaelChristian.net . I will post here when it's up.

(splitting into a second small post to ease reading)
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Old 09-13-2009   #2
Zethco
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

The reality is this:

I’ve lost absolutely everything and I am severely limited in what I can do physically to provide. I am beyond overwhelmed just working to solve issues with even just my health myself. Entirely unable to work, obviously. Nikki does not have much earning power and is taking care of the boy and I while working part time. When Nikki works, my Mother has to take Aedan because I have been unable to care for him myself.

Besides the staggering costs associated with my health, as I mentioned we’re soon to be forced to move due to foreclosure. And because of those costs, I am not yet able to have saved anything for the move to California let alone secure a rental.

Nikki had worked hard soon after Mayo in March putting together a small benefit of some sort. Had a few local bands willing to play. But when my health began rapidly declining, that quickly fell apart long ago. Bless her for trying, but she too is clearly overwhelmed.

Excellent Credit - Nuked. Home I built with my own 2 hands – Foreclosed. Cars all gone except for Z and daily driver that’s soon to be repossessed. Savings – erased. On Long-Term Disability (finally), but 60% of income is impossible for me to cover medical expenses, living expenses and feed my family. Not to mention my nutritional requirements now are expensive. So it’s been a them or me for food budget, I always choose them. Selling the Z won't do enough good to make any measurable dent. The difference between what I owe and what I'd get is too little to matter. We need 2 cars, but I also finally feel what it's like to again be alive while in it. I haven't felt alive in far too long. Shifting hurts like a &%$# sometimes. But I don't care.

Please understand, those that know me realize I don’t say this to whine or complain. That serves no purpose. But after Tuesday’s Neuro appointment I truly see a light at the end which gave me my first chance in many months to really look around the rest of my life's resulting sad reality. The above is what I see now. I’m simply getting it off my chest and looking for help from the only good, Guy friends I can trust. Any.

Help:

Can be anything. Ideas, a support group of guys who will help me think. Maybe help is just well wishes or a prayer. Shake my hand next time you see me maybe, or just let me know I’m not alone here. Maybe point someone you know to this thread and let me know it helped them. Who knows.

I just know that other than Aedan, Nikki, my Mother and my stupid dog Snoop - the Brotherhood is all I have.
I was once an amazing man who would have solved all of my families challenges and half of yours months ago.

But this ‘thing’ also took a lot of cognative/thinking abilities. Concentration, short term memory at times. Other times it takes my mind entirely and I just blank out for a while. That’s one of it’s worst side effects.

Back in Feb, I started asking random people about strength and being a Man. Said nothing about myself other than I wanted to write it down because I need all I can hear. That led me to start writing a book about Manhood and what it’s taken to get through this. The ZR-1 has been my calling card that has gotten Men to stand around it and somehow open up about what they know about being a “Man” which I’ve begun recording for the future of our Sons everywhere. My desperate need for strength and insight turned into a book.

What was one book has turned into several. Originally intended to help those who are gravely ill continue to fight, but it’s quickly become so much more. Helping others is how I cope and has given me strength when I needed it most.

I plan beating this and continuing the books by driving this Iconic car just like I have, all over the country to write down whatever we all still know about courage and strength. I think it’ll come in handy someday.

If nothing else, please help me think of ways to help myself. I once was a great man who could. But now I just need help. Whatever that means.

I've learned it's okay that my Son has seen DaDa fall down. But it's imperitive that he sees DaDa get back up. I promised I would. Help me pull myself back up. Please. I don’t know what else to say.

Drive fast, take chances my friends.

Michael Christian Kaferly.

1736 S. Meacham
Palatine, IL 60067
Call/text - 415.845.8893


Misneach@MichaelChristian.net - Gaelic, for "Courage".



PS: Tell your Sons what some goofy blonde Irishman in a wicked cool AB ZR-1 once told his Son.

Aedan, my Son. May you always have the strength to do what's needed. But also, Courage. To do what's right.

This is for all of us:

The only true measure of a Man, is what he's worth when he's lost all of his Money. At least I hold my head up right there, I'm worth a lot. DaDa will beat this my Son. I promise. And thanks to some great men, I will see you soon my boy.
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Last edited by Zethco; 09-14-2009 at 04:31 PM. Reason: ** Added address and contact information.
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Old 09-13-2009   #3
bdw18_123
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

I think its really awesome that even with all the crap life has thrown at you, you still retain that positive mindset. With stuff like that, mindset is EVERYTHING.

Quote:
Posted by Zethco: Bottom line is this: I WILL BEAT THIS.
That kind of mindset right there is the key to winning your battle. Thinking about what is truly important to you (family, friends, etc.) will help you keep that mindset.

I'm pretty new to the Brotherhood and I've never met any of you in person, but I feel honored that I get to be a part of something special like this. Some people would say "Oh, but it's just a car...". I say, if a car can cause this type of group of people to come together this strongly, then it is much, much more than a car. I'm proud to be able to own one and if that "Ebay special" had not come along, I would not be a part of the Brotherhood right now.

I know I'm the "new guy" and you don't know me, but anything you need help with, just let me know. Even if you just need to talk (though I'm sure you have plenty of friends you already know for that ), I'm a pretty good listener.
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Old 09-13-2009   #4
jonszr1
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

mike could you please send me your mailing address . i have a donation i would like to get to you .
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Old 09-14-2009   #5
ALZR1
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Hey Michael,I;m sorry your going through this medical problem that stemmed from A simple procedure,but knowing you,I know you'll pull
through it with flying colors.
Be strong for your family my friend and don't give up.

FYI if you need anything I'm A phone call away

Brakes Plus
847-827-9900

AL.
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Old 09-14-2009   #6
Zethco
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdw18_123 View Post
I think its really awesome that even with all the crap life has thrown at you, you still retain that positive mindset. With stuff like that, mindset is EVERYTHING.

I know I'm the "new guy" and you don't know me, but anything you need help with, just let me know. Even if you just need to talk (though I'm sure you have plenty of friends you already know for that ), I'm a pretty good listener.
Thanks, I'm convinced I've survived this long because of my attitude. Sadly, that's also something that makes it difficult since I hide/handle issues and pain too well - which I had to learn to do to survive this. But that means that to look at me (at first anyway) you would never guess the gravity of all this. Which can bet frustrating.

Also, I have no good guy friends that I am able to talk to much. Which is why I posted this. You guys are all I have and I just needed someone to finally hear me. I've kept it all to myself for too long. Even Nikki doesn't know all of it - I insulate her for the boy's sake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonszr1 View Post
mike could you please send me your mailing address . i have a donation i would like to get to you .
Even after all I've been through (I left A LOT out) somehow my first instinct is still shame and guilt - and to politely saw "naw man, but thanks". But pride and dignity aside, I have no choice anymore but accept any help of any type with humble gratitude.

** I've now added my home address and all contact info in bold to my second post above. **

That was the point of the website I've started is not only to tell the whole story of what I'm facing in an easy to read format, that parts DONE. But the whole point would be to give people a place to read what happened and to explain HOW one might help. A donations link or notice of a benefit event of some sort maybe.

But Nikki and I are at the end of our ropes and cannot plan meals much less anything else anymore. For several months in the spring she put a lot of work into planning a benefit event, but that fell apart long ago as I got worse. And we're out of gas all the way around now.

I somehow haven't been able to bring myself to add anything to the site requesting donations for myself. It's hard to do. And I'm not wired to ask for anything for myself. I'm sure y'all can understand that as Men though.

Still refusing to lose this fight,

Michael
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Old 09-14-2009   #7
Zethco
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Quote:
Originally Posted by ALZR1 View Post
Hey Michael,I;m sorry your going through this medical problem that stemmed from A simple procedure,but knowing you,I know you'll pull
Quote:
Originally Posted by ALZR1 View Post
through it with flying colors.
Be strong for your family my friend and don't give up.

FYI if you need anything I'm A phone call away

Brakes Plus
847-827-9900

AL.
Thanks Al. I said it before, but even just a handshake or well wishes help so much more than you'd think possible. Really man, especially when it's people that I know who only now find out what I've gone through silently (until now).

Any stress, anger, frustration, etc causes the Neuropathy to fire up badly and it renders me immoble fast. A cruel joke of sorts in all this I suppose. I'm proud of how I've handled this all so far, but it's almost impossible to face these odds without even a LITTLE stress. So today, I'm stuck in bed at the hotel. This 'thing' took over again.


Just being able to post here to get it off my chest helps too. I really am that grateful for the simple things now.

In the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out what to say about the 'how to help' part of the website. Problem I have is without a "how to help" area, the site would just be me outlining just how *%#ed up I am physically and complaining :-(**|= about all I'm facing. And I intentionally left MOST of that stuff out of my posts if that gives any indication of how critical things have become for my family's welfare and my survival.

But again, just seeing that I'm in someones thoughts like this does a lot. That alone is SO much more than I've had since 17 Sept 2008.

But you know me Al, there's nothing in this world or the next that will keep me from my Son. I'll beat this somehow becuase in here somewhere I'm still the same tough/stubborn Man you met years ago. I still refuse to be beaten by anyone or anything. Especially in front of my Son.

You can though go ahead and put a stamp on your 415 and send it on over. Oh, and an engine lift too ... I can walk a little now for short distances, a few mins or a couple hours a day. But when this thing takes over, I will need to make a 415cid LT5 ZR-wheelchair since I often can't use my hands/arms. C'mon, you know you want one too.

Almost a telethon, but still grateful.

Michael
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Old 09-20-2009   #8
Z51JEFF
 
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Whatever happened with the repair,is the car fixed?
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Old 09-20-2009   #9
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Default Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

Quote:
Originally Posted by Z51JEFF View Post
Whatever happened with the repair,is the car fixed?
Yes sir! Car was fixed last saturday thanks to two California Brothers!



David
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Old 09-20-2009   #10
Z Factor
 
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Lightbulb Re: * * Please, I need the Brotherhood's help **

My first suggestion would be to have a Trust Fund set up at a local bank that you have a relationship with. Based on your posts regarding not feeling comfortable asking for help, you may want a forum friend familiar with your plight to make the donation requests on behalf of you and your family.
I would also tie a Paypal account into it as some people prefer to donate that way rather than sending checks or making wire transfers.

BTW - I have stuck the thread for you so it will not fall off of the front page.

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