Jeff Gordon announced today that......

[carter200]

Raleigh , NC (UPI) -- Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing
his entire pit crew. This announcement followed Gordon's decision to
take advantage of President Obama's scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels
in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment; whereas Gordon's
existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars
worth of high tech equipment..
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for at the crew's first
practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change
all 4 wheels in under 5 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed
the paint scheme, altered the VIN, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10
cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in
the shower.