Pyramid of Speed - ZR-1 Net Registry Forums

07-22-2009

The Bottom Level of the Pyramid of Speed
Street Racers:
These are the yahoos that you see trying to do smoky burnouts on city streets. They look around for deserted industrial areas so they can "Race" each other in a straight line. They think NOS is cool. They think "Fast and Furious" is a shoe-in for an Oscar, both for best picture, best actor, and best documentary. They post on various Internet BBS boards short stories talking about their "Kills", where they went 0-60 faster than some other car on busy city streets.

Favorite type of woman: Any sixteen year old female who hangs out at those Import car shows and will show some skin, never mind that her skin is pimply.

Favorite Magazine: Import Tuner. Sport Compact Car. Turbo Digest. NOS World.

Level 2 of the Pyramid of Speed

Freeway Racers:
Next to the bottom are these guys. They frown upon Street Racers, thinking that Street Racers are 0-80 mph wimps. Instead, Freeway Racers think that they are cool, as they go 120+ mph and weave in and out of traffic on the highway like a bunch of morons on crystal meth. The problem is that these boneheads have spent money to make their car a little faster and a little noisier than usual, but they forgot one thing: they are going at dangerously high speeds and they have itty bitty front brakes, small rear drum brakes, and they have never attended a go-fast driving school. They forgot the Stop-Fast parts when they modified their cars. Not good when Sally Homemaker in her 6000 lbs SUV makes a lane change at 55 mph without signaling and without looking for cars coming up on her at triple digit speeds. They post on various BBS boards about their "Kills", where they passed some guy driving a more expensive car at 110 mph, saying that they knew that "Name_your_Car" drivers can't drive worth a crap.

Favorite type of woman: Any female that is impressed by them driving 100 mph with a beer in their hand, a joint in the other, and no seat belt on. Needless to say, these guys are usually dateless.

Favorite magazine: High Times. Mad Magazine.

Level 3 of the Pyramid of Speed
1/4 Mile Drag Racers
Next up are the 1/4 mile drag racers. These guys are at least smart enough to take their cars to a formal race track where there are rules, safety regulations, and ambulances for when they crash because they can't figure out how to drive in a straight line. They look down upon the Freeway "Racers" and Street "Racers" as a bunch of immature folks who don't have enough sense to take their need for speed to their local 1/4 mile drag strip. Instead, these 1/4 mile geeks spend their life trying to break the 12 second barrier in their souped up street cars. Sometimes they might even get four runs in a day, and at 13 seconds a run, this means they spent the whole day at the track for 52 seconds of "racing" fun. Kinda like spending $200 on a dinner date, and having premature ejaculation at the dinner table.

Favorite type of woman: Any female that has teeth.

Favorite magazine: Hot Rod, Car Craft, Hemi World.

Level 4 of the Pyramid of Speed
Autocrossers
Next, we have the autocrossers, a special breed among themselves. They frown on the illegal freeway and street racers as wreckless morons. They laugh at the 1/4 mile Drag Racers, as those goons can only go fast in a straight line. Hell, you can probably get a monkey or an 90 year old grandmother than can stomp on the gas and make three shifts in 12 seconds without crashing. Reaction speed of drag racers on the start? ****....reaction speed to autocrossers is learning a 15 turn autocross course the first time by driving out there and not hitting any freaking cones, and making some dramatic left-right-left turns without spinning out (despite the fact that they are going at a blazing 35 mph!)

Favorite type of woman: A female who has the whole day to burn, and can stand a safety cone upright, as they sucker them into being cone-corner workers.

Favorite magazine: The SCCA's SportsCar magazine and the SCCA FastTrack, so they can obey the Rule Nazi's and read and interpret drivel such as this. These guys actually like reading a book of rules about how to go around cones at 35 mph!

Level 5 of the Pyramid of Speed
Time Trialers
Next, we have the Time Trialers, meaning the people that who take their car to road racing courses. Also known as "lapping days". These people are thrown on a road racing track with about 20 other cars, and they are only allowed to pass in the straightaways. They look down upon the illegal Street "Racers" and Freeway "Racers" for obvious reasons. They laugh at the drag racers who can only go in the straight line. They shake their head at the autocrossers, as why would someone want to spend all day in a parking lot to do five runs on a 15 turn course lined with safety cones, and each run only lasts 60 seconds and you never get out of 2nd gear? Hell, at at Time Trial event or lapping day, you may get 60+ laps around a world famous road course, which is 30 times more "seat time" than you get in autocrossing! Plus, in autocrossing, they may disallow your time because your tire is a quarter inch too wide, or you put a different brake pad on, or your springs on your car are a half inch too low. Autocross is racing, but racing Taliban-style, with 1000's of rules of what you can do or not do.

Favorite type of woman: Females who think that their man is a "Racer", since his car actually made it to the pavement of a race track. Never mind that the dude spun his car four times in one day and got dust all over the interior of the car. She is convinced that she dates "Macho Racer".

Favorite Magazine: Road and Track, Car and Driver, Automobile, Motor Trend.

The Top Level of the Pyramid of Speed
Wheel-to-Wheel Racers
The Wheel-to-Wheel racers are at the top of the pyramid. They have big heads, big egos, they think they are cool, and they can be tremendously condescending. Some even have the gall to have their own website touting their latest "racing adventures". They think Street Racers are ricockulous, and that the Fast and The Furious is the second stupidest movie they ever seen, with Driven being the stupidest. Freeway racers are viewed as unskilled morons, but Wheel-to-Wheel racers have been known to occasionally "bait" the Freeway Racers into following them through an offramp at triple digits speeds, and when the Freeway Racer suddenly realizes that he can't control his car that fast in a turn, the Freeway Racer panics, hits the brakes hard while turning, and ends up spinning and crashing into the guard rail, while the Wheel-to-Wheel racer looks in his rear view mirror, and calmly puts another mark on his dashboard, keeping score of "reverse-kills". 1/4 Mile Drag racers are viewed as unskilled folks who can only shift up, and cannot figure out how to master a proper heel-and-toe downshift without grinding the tranny.
Autocrossers are viewed as crossdressers who think that danger and excitement is narrowly missing a plastic safety cone by two inches at 35 mph, and live by a rule book about their car specs that is bigger than the Bible. There is a lot of risk and danger in autocrossing.....hell, if you screw up, you could end up with a couple of plastic safety cones tangled up in your front grill. Does Michael Schumacher autocross? Would he ever spend time dodging safety cones? Did Kimi Raikonen make it to Formula One as a nineteen year old by driving solo in a parking lot? Hell no, Kimi made the leap to Formula One because he was the karting champ of Finland, doing wheel-to-wheel shifter karts, not by driving around stationary cones. If autocross was really exciting, you would see the Cone Dodger's National Championships on ESPN or Speedvision. But no use having an autocross on TV because, uh...quite frankly, no one cares.....
Time trialers are viewed as chumps that can't figure out how to control their car well enough to maneuver in between two other cars at 100 mph in a turn without causing a three car wreck. For it is only the Wheel-To-Wheel racer that put their car within inches of an apex at 110 mph, can brake within inches of their target braking point at 140 mph at the last possible instant without locking up the brakes into ABS or flat spotting tires, that can be within inches of another car's door going into a 100+ mph turn and fighting for position on the pavement, and can control understeer or oversteer with the pedal to the metal coming out of an apex and using the last inch of pavement exiting out of a turn to keep the car from spinning off into the dirt or into surrounding cement walls. If a wheel-to-wheel racer makes a mistake, his car will probably be severely wrecked, other cars could be wrecked, and he could potentially take out half the cars entered in the event with him going into Turn 1 at the start of a race.

Favorite type of women: Hot, sexy women who know that all the other "racers" in the lower levels of the Pyramid of Speed are all really just "wanna-be-wheel-to-wheel racers". A woman with a good stock portfolio is highly desirable, because Wheel-to-Wheel racing is ahhh.....about five times more expensive than any other level on the Pyramid, as your car will break down more, the parts you need to go fast are more expensive, you blow through rear tires every weekend, you probably have to have a truck and trailer to tow the car, you need an extensive pit crew help to keep the car running that that you over modified in your thermonuclear war with other people to get to the top of the podium.

Favorite Magazine: Autoweek, as each week they have in depth coverage of the only true sport left in the world, which is Formula One wheel-to-wheel racing. Everything else in life is just a game......

carter200 · 07-22-2009

Jeff,
I see you are trying to increase your fan base again

The only group you seem to have missed is soap box derby racers. What's up with all the hate

FU · 07-22-2009

Good post Jeffy !

Everything else in life is just a game...... Life's short play hard and have fun.

4DSZR1 · 07-22-2009

Great Post Mr Flint :-) Can't attribute the quote to E Hemmingway as some think, but I still like it....

"Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports ... all others are games"

1990 415 · 07-23-2009

Racing is life. Everything that happens before or after the race is just waiting.
Don't fear challenges, ride them.

QB93Z · 07-23-2009

Where do "Bench Racers" belong in the pyramid?

Jim

FU · 07-23-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by QB93Z

Where do "Bench Racers" belong in the pyramid?

Jim

They get locked in the restroom

Aurora40 · 07-24-2009

That's funny about AutoWeek. For a while I kept getting it just for the F1 coverage. But man, that magazine has gone to crap. Seems like every other editorial or edition is some crap about how we have to save the planet. I couldn't take it anymore.

I've since realized I don't need F1 news. Regardless of what sort of goofyness goes on week to week, watching the race will play out how it plays out, and that's the only part I really find interesting.

diamond zr1 · 07-24-2009

gee Jeff/there u go stirring the pot again,and speaking of pot,will you have sam put on a pot of beans,to go with the b.b.q. there will be 2 old men headed over from spokane,if we can get by all the unmarked stings,and don't end up in jail/joe

rhipsher · 07-26-2009

Mmmm. A little jealous maybe? Between the video of jeff racing under the thread "LT-5 sounds" and the guy in germany vid under the thread "He's gotten better" I would have to say the german vid was allot more exciting to watch. I'm sure Jeffs vid would have been allot more exciting if the track he was on wasn't so narrow. The only place you could pass was on the straight aways. I just wonder if this thread was an attempt to be condescending to people who post vids of them "Legally" racing. I hope not because thats what it looks like.

07-22-2009	#1
Jeffvette Guest Posts: n/a	Pyramid of Speed The Bottom Level of the Pyramid of Speed Street Racers: These are the yahoos that you see trying to do smoky burnouts on city streets. They look around for deserted industrial areas so they can "Race" each other in a straight line. They think NOS is cool. They think "Fast and Furious" is a shoe-in for an Oscar, both for best picture, best actor, and best documentary. They post on various Internet BBS boards short stories talking about their "Kills", where they went 0-60 faster than some other car on busy city streets. Favorite type of woman: Any sixteen year old female who hangs out at those Import car shows and will show some skin, never mind that her skin is pimply. Favorite Magazine: Import Tuner. Sport Compact Car. Turbo Digest. NOS World. Level 2 of the Pyramid of Speed Freeway Racers: Next to the bottom are these guys. They frown upon Street Racers, thinking that Street Racers are 0-80 mph wimps. Instead, Freeway Racers think that they are cool, as they go 120+ mph and weave in and out of traffic on the highway like a bunch of morons on crystal meth. The problem is that these boneheads have spent money to make their car a little faster and a little noisier than usual, but they forgot one thing: they are going at dangerously high speeds and they have itty bitty front brakes, small rear drum brakes, and they have never attended a go-fast driving school. They forgot the Stop-Fast parts when they modified their cars. Not good when Sally Homemaker in her 6000 lbs SUV makes a lane change at 55 mph without signaling and without looking for cars coming up on her at triple digit speeds. They post on various BBS boards about their "Kills", where they passed some guy driving a more expensive car at 110 mph, saying that they knew that "Name_your_Car" drivers can't drive worth a crap. Favorite type of woman: Any female that is impressed by them driving 100 mph with a beer in their hand, a joint in the other, and no seat belt on. Needless to say, these guys are usually dateless. Favorite magazine: High Times. Mad Magazine. Level 3 of the Pyramid of Speed 1/4 Mile Drag Racers Next up are the 1/4 mile drag racers. These guys are at least smart enough to take their cars to a formal race track where there are rules, safety regulations, and ambulances for when they crash because they can't figure out how to drive in a straight line. They look down upon the Freeway "Racers" and Street "Racers" as a bunch of immature folks who don't have enough sense to take their need for speed to their local 1/4 mile drag strip. Instead, these 1/4 mile geeks spend their life trying to break the 12 second barrier in their souped up street cars. Sometimes they might even get four runs in a day, and at 13 seconds a run, this means they spent the whole day at the track for 52 seconds of "racing" fun. Kinda like spending $200 on a dinner date, and having premature ejaculation at the dinner table. Favorite type of woman: Any female that has teeth. Favorite magazine: Hot Rod, Car Craft, Hemi World. Level 4 of the Pyramid of Speed Autocrossers Next, we have the autocrossers, a special breed among themselves. They frown on the illegal freeway and street racers as wreckless morons. They laugh at the 1/4 mile Drag Racers, as those goons can only go fast in a straight line. Hell, you can probably get a monkey or an 90 year old grandmother than can stomp on the gas and make three shifts in 12 seconds without crashing. Reaction speed of drag racers on the start? ****....reaction speed to autocrossers is learning a 15 turn autocross course the first time by driving out there and not hitting any freaking cones, and making some dramatic left-right-left turns without spinning out (despite the fact that they are going at a blazing 35 mph!) Favorite type of woman: A female who has the whole day to burn, and can stand a safety cone upright, as they sucker them into being cone-corner workers. Favorite magazine: The SCCA's SportsCar magazine and the SCCA FastTrack, so they can obey the Rule Nazi's and read and interpret drivel such as this. These guys actually like reading a book of rules about how to go around cones at 35 mph! Level 5 of the Pyramid of Speed Time Trialers Next, we have the Time Trialers, meaning the people that who take their car to road racing courses. Also known as "lapping days". These people are thrown on a road racing track with about 20 other cars, and they are only allowed to pass in the straightaways. They look down upon the illegal Street "Racers" and Freeway "Racers" for obvious reasons. They laugh at the drag racers who can only go in the straight line. They shake their head at the autocrossers, as why would someone want to spend all day in a parking lot to do five runs on a 15 turn course lined with safety cones, and each run only lasts 60 seconds and you never get out of 2nd gear? Hell, at at Time Trial event or lapping day, you may get 60+ laps around a world famous road course, which is 30 times more "seat time" than you get in autocrossing! Plus, in autocrossing, they may disallow your time because your tire is a quarter inch too wide, or you put a different brake pad on, or your springs on your car are a half inch too low. Autocross is racing, but racing Taliban-style, with 1000's of rules of what you can do or not do. Favorite type of woman: Females who think that their man is a "Racer", since his car actually made it to the pavement of a race track. Never mind that the dude spun his car four times in one day and got dust all over the interior of the car. She is convinced that she dates "Macho Racer". Favorite Magazine: Road and Track, Car and Driver, Automobile, Motor Trend. The Top Level of the Pyramid of Speed Wheel-to-Wheel Racers The Wheel-to-Wheel racers are at the top of the pyramid. They have big heads, big egos, they think they are cool, and they can be tremendously condescending. Some even have the gall to have their own website touting their latest "racing adventures". They think Street Racers are ricockulous, and that the Fast and The Furious is the second stupidest movie they ever seen, with Driven being the stupidest. Freeway racers are viewed as unskilled morons, but Wheel-to-Wheel racers have been known to occasionally "bait" the Freeway Racers into following them through an offramp at triple digits speeds, and when the Freeway Racer suddenly realizes that he can't control his car that fast in a turn, the Freeway Racer panics, hits the brakes hard while turning, and ends up spinning and crashing into the guard rail, while the Wheel-to-Wheel racer looks in his rear view mirror, and calmly puts another mark on his dashboard, keeping score of "reverse-kills". 1/4 Mile Drag racers are viewed as unskilled folks who can only shift up, and cannot figure out how to master a proper heel-and-toe downshift without grinding the tranny. Autocrossers are viewed as crossdressers who think that danger and excitement is narrowly missing a plastic safety cone by two inches at 35 mph, and live by a rule book about their car specs that is bigger than the Bible. There is a lot of risk and danger in autocrossing.....hell, if you screw up, you could end up with a couple of plastic safety cones tangled up in your front grill. Does Michael Schumacher autocross? Would he ever spend time dodging safety cones? Did Kimi Raikonen make it to Formula One as a nineteen year old by driving solo in a parking lot? Hell no, Kimi made the leap to Formula One because he was the karting champ of Finland, doing wheel-to-wheel shifter karts, not by driving around stationary cones. If autocross was really exciting, you would see the Cone Dodger's National Championships on ESPN or Speedvision. But no use having an autocross on TV because, uh...quite frankly, no one cares..... Time trialers are viewed as chumps that can't figure out how to control their car well enough to maneuver in between two other cars at 100 mph in a turn without causing a three car wreck. For it is only the Wheel-To-Wheel racer that put their car within inches of an apex at 110 mph, can brake within inches of their target braking point at 140 mph at the last possible instant without locking up the brakes into ABS or flat spotting tires, that can be within inches of another car's door going into a 100+ mph turn and fighting for position on the pavement, and can control understeer or oversteer with the pedal to the metal coming out of an apex and using the last inch of pavement exiting out of a turn to keep the car from spinning off into the dirt or into surrounding cement walls. If a wheel-to-wheel racer makes a mistake, his car will probably be severely wrecked, other cars could be wrecked, and he could potentially take out half the cars entered in the event with him going into Turn 1 at the start of a race. Favorite type of women: Hot, sexy women who know that all the other "racers" in the lower levels of the Pyramid of Speed are all really just "wanna-be-wheel-to-wheel racers". A woman with a good stock portfolio is highly desirable, because Wheel-to-Wheel racing is ahhh.....about five times more expensive than any other level on the Pyramid, as your car will break down more, the parts you need to go fast are more expensive, you blow through rear tires every weekend, you probably have to have a truck and trailer to tow the car, you need an extensive pit crew help to keep the car running that that you over modified in your thermonuclear war with other people to get to the top of the podium. Favorite Magazine: Autoweek, as each week they have in depth coverage of the only true sport left in the world, which is Formula One wheel-to-wheel racing. Everything else in life is just a game......

07-22-2009	#2
carter200 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 2,431	Re: Pyramid of Speed Jeff, I see you are trying to increase your fan base again The only group you seem to have missed is soap box derby racers. What's up with all the hate

07-22-2009	#3
FU Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Found Member Posts: 4,346	Re: Pyramid of Speed Good post Jeffy ! Everything else in life is just a game...... Life's short play hard and have fun. __________________ Frank Urbo. NCM Lifetime member # 982 Registry Founding # 237

07-22-2009	#4
4DSZR1 Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 692	Re: Pyramid of Speed Great Post Mr Flint :-) Can't attribute the quote to E Hemmingway as some think, but I still like it.... "Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports ... all others are games"

07-23-2009	#5
1990 415 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 309	Re: Pyramid of Speed Racing is life. Everything that happens before or after the race is just waiting. Don't fear challenges, ride them.

07-23-2009	#6
QB93Z Join Date: May 2007 Location: Westminster, Maryland Posts: 3,687	Re: Pyramid of Speed Where do "Bench Racers" belong in the pyramid? Jim __________________ If it isn't fun, you aren't doing it right! 1990 Black ZR-1 - sold 1993 Quasar Blue ZR-1 1994 Competition Yellow ZR-1 1995 Dark Purple ZR-1 Maryland State Coordinator WAZOO Member

07-24-2009	#8
Aurora40 Join Date: May 2005 Location: Leesburg, VA Posts: 2,713	Re: Pyramid of Speed That's funny about AutoWeek. For a while I kept getting it just for the F1 coverage. But man, that magazine has gone to crap. Seems like every other editorial or edition is some crap about how we have to save the planet. I couldn't take it anymore. I've since realized I don't need F1 news. Regardless of what sort of goofyness goes on week to week, watching the race will play out how it plays out, and that's the only part I really find interesting. __________________ Bob Saveland Former owner of #2517 [IMG]http://a.random-image.net/aurora40/vette.jpg[/img]

07-24-2009	#9
diamond zr1 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: diamond lake /washington Posts: 223	Re: Pyramid of Speed gee Jeff/there u go stirring the pot again,and speaking of pot,will you have sam put on a pot of beans,to go with the b.b.q. there will be 2 old men headed over from spokane,if we can get by all the unmarked stings,and don't end up in jail/joe

07-26-2009	#10
rhipsher Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Houston 90 Red ZR-1 Posts: 2,320	Re: Pyramid of Speed Mmmm. A little jealous maybe? Between the video of jeff racing under the thread "LT-5 sounds" and the guy in germany vid under the thread "He's gotten better" I would have to say the german vid was allot more exciting to watch. I'm sure Jeffs vid would have been allot more exciting if the track he was on wasn't so narrow. The only place you could pass was on the straight aways. I just wonder if this thread was an attempt to be condescending to people who post vids of them "Legally" racing. I hope not because thats what it looks like.