Just for grins ;-)

[carter200]

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
economy, President Obama has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to President Obama to be
considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as President Obama deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by President Obama.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SH-T
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. President Obama has always
prided himself on the amount of SH-T he gives our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH-T, please bring this to
the attention of President Obama, who has been trained to give you all
the SH-T you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (EVIL)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas
and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the
Tunnel has been turned off.