Pre Dating Agreement

[Anonymous]

Source URL

http://www.geocities.com/asphalt_angel_08/contract.html


Just because it is so cool.


Pre-Dating Exclusively Agreement
Before I agree to date you and only you, you must read and agree to all statements in this contract. By signing below, you acknowledge all statements and take full responsibility to ensure they are maintained. By not signing this agreement, dating exclusively is null and void. This contract is nonnegotiable.


If you stop insulting stock-car racing and concede it to be a real sport, that it takes talent and skill, I will stop calling your WWE wrestling a badly choreographed soap opera with untalented actors. However, I won't stop thinking it.


If you take a genuine interest in racing, I will be more than happy to help you gain an intimate understanding of the sport.


Events and activities are to be planned around NASCAR races. So learn the race schedule. Under special circumstances, this may not apply. However, the race I am going to miss must be taped using 2 (two) VCRs (just in case one fails). NO special circumstances will be considered for the following races: Daytona 500 and the Bristol Night race. If i am not watching them via sattelite live, then I will be at the track watching them.


You already know about the normal holidays: Easter, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. I have two other holidays: Speed Weeks and Daytona. Strict adherence to the observation of these holidays must be maintained.


During a race, I do not accept phone calls. No matter how many times you call, I will not answer.


If you are in my presence while watching a race, please observe the following: Do not touch the remote, television, reciever or VCR. Doing so will result in serious injury or worse. Do not talk during the race. I will get duct tape out if necessary. Commerical breaks are the only times you may attempt to have a conversation with me. You must sit a minimum of 5 (five) feet away from me. This is partially for your own safety. If during a race, you are in a romantic mood, don't bother attempting to share it with me. Take a cold shower till the race is over.


While it seems inevitable that couples share things, there are some things I won't share. My racing apparel is off limits; do not touch it (even if you are frozen and they are the only things left in the closet).


See previous and substitute racing collection for racing apparel.


See previous and substitute racing books and magazines for racing apparel.


Christmas, birthdays and any other pertinent gift giving holidays, I am not hard to shop for. NASCAR items and racing apparel are preferred over sexy lingerie and socks.


While you may find Jamaica a romantic vacation spot, I find Martinsville, Bristol, Loudon, Richmond and locales housing race shops or tracks romantic vacation spots.


When I take my vacation time, I will be visiting one or more of the locales mentioned previously. You don't expect me to go deer hunting, and I don't expect you to spend the day at DEI or Rockingham.


If we break up and there is property to be divided, you may request the return of anything you gave me, excluding racing-related items. You may keep anything I gave you, except for the racing items. All items must be in original condition, if they are not, I require a full refund of the amount paid for the item.


In the event of cohabitation, I require one room solely for the purposes of holding and displaying my race-related stuff. The smallest room will not be acceptable.


If it comes down to a choice between you and racing - racing will win.


If the opportunity arises that I can get tickets to the Bristol race under the lights, complete with garage access, I will do anything for them. If it requires your assistance, you will do anything to ensure I get them.


If it comes down to a choice between you and Dale Jr. - Dale Jr. wins.

By signing below, you have read and agreed to all terms set forth in this contract. Please note that there may be further additions to this contract at any time.

Date: ___________________________
Signature: _______________________________________