Some Sunday Humor - ZR-1 Net Registry Forums

Hammer · 02-18-2007

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thought for the day:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS!!

Aurora40 · 02-18-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

DaveK · 02-18-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS!!

I seem to have met an inordinate number of these...

Z Factor · 02-19-2007

02-18-2007	#1
Hammer Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Ideho Posts: 2,653	Some Sunday Humor *AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES* 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat just by using the sink 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer. 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache. 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. Thought for the day: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..... THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING... BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS!! __________________ [I][FONT=Comic Sans MS]John Boyd[/FONT][/I] [I][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1]Ideho[/SIZE][/FONT][/I] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1][I]2015 ZL1 [/I][I]Camaro #1121 BLACK/BLACK 6 SPD (540 RWHP)[/I][/SIZE][/FONT] [I][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=1]1991 ZR-1 #458 [COLOR=red]RED/[/COLOR][COLOR=black]BLACK 72[/COLOR]k miles ([B][COLOR=red]SOLD[/COLOR][/B]) 1991 ZR-1 #473 [COLOR=red]RED/[/COLOR][COLOR=black]BLACK [/COLOR]37k miles ([B][COLOR=red]SOLD[/COLOR][/B])[/SIZE][/FONT][/I]

02-19-2007	#4
Z Factor Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: S. Florida Posts: 2,667	Re: Some Sunday Humor