Why I'm divorced..........priceless! - ZR-1 Net Registry Forums

carter200 · 10-07-2010

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! '

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me...'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment. I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there...

On the couch....

Naked.

GOLDCYLON · 10-07-2010

Can we get a rim shot?

carter200 · 10-07-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOLDCYLON

Can we get a rim shot?

I think that is part of what he was hoping for

GOLDCYLON · 10-07-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by carter200

I think that is part of what he was hoping for

Ahmm Rim shot Carter not Rim job. See above

carter200 · 10-07-2010

I was trying to keep it clean without going there..................

FU · 10-07-2010

Good one Carter

GrayZ · 10-07-2010

damn, i thought this was for real, and you were gonna say,
you're divorced for let's face it...you're ugly....LOL

10-07-2010	#1
carter200 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 2,431	Why I'm divorced..........priceless! Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me...' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !' We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..' After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers all singing 'Happy Birthday'. And I just sat there... On the couch.... Naked. __________________ 95 ZR-1 BLK/Gry #392 LT5 Reg# 868 RIP ZR1NET Founding Mem #155

10-07-2010	#2
GOLDCYLON Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peoria, AZ Posts: 9,153	Re: Why I'm divorced..........priceless! Can we get a rim shot? __________________ GOLDCYLON - 91 ZR-1 #2014 GOLDCYLON - 90 ZR-1 #2794, 4L60e (Formerly Schrade's) GOLDCYLON - 11 CTS-V Arizona State Director 91 WHITE/BLACK #2014. 380 P&P&PCed,Ported Heads, Jeal Long tubes, Corsa Exhaust/FIKSE FM-5s /LED TLs, LED Headlights, Front Wilwood 6 piston narrowlite calipers and rear Wilwood caliper street shop mod,CNCed Coolant Pipes,TPI Cvr,Filter cover,Stainless Bolts, DRM/DOM PROM /ZFDOC mod build #102,DRLs,BMAD with stainless Debris Screen,Coplan Air Blaster, Pioneer APP Radio 4,Brey-Krause HB,Sub Bar,Fire extinguisher seat mount,DRM Coilovers,LEDs everywhere,Compass mirror (orange),V1 DIC hidden display, Homelink sun visor, Carbon Fiber top x3 and APSIS Carbon Fiber interior, APSIS CF Steering Wheel/NAPA Leather, Banski trailing arms, Guldstrand front suspension,urethane bushings from Prothane (total suspension) ZFDoc drive shaft safety loop, raptor shift light (orange),AO engineering louver front plate, Console seat cushion, 96CE seats with black custom Sheepskins, ss billet catch can,Viper remote entry/alarm,Cragar Rear Louvers,LED side louver lights, Dewitts Radiator with SPAL fans and a Woods 160 T-Stat 90 RED/BLACK #2794. 4L60e Automatic Stage V by RPM Transmission, TCI Dedicated TCM, OBX Stainless Headers, Corsa Exhaust, SAN Secondaries and Haibeck PROM, Exotic Muscle Coil overs, LED Interior Lights, LED Tail Lights, LED Headlights, 94 Sport seats with black custom Sheepskins , Cragar rear louvers, GS Front calipers, Banski Trailing arms, APSIS Carbon Fiber steering wheel, Front and Rear Baer Eradispeeds, DRLs, Guldstrand front suspension,urethane bushings from Prothane (total suspension), Dewitt's Raditor with Dual SPAL fans and a Haibeck 170 T-Stat 11 RED/GREY CTS-V Last edited by GOLDCYLON; 10-07-2010 at 12:48 PM.

10-07-2010	#5
carter200 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 2,431	Re: Why I'm divorced..........priceless! I was trying to keep it clean without going there.................. __________________ 95 ZR-1 BLK/Gry #392 LT5 Reg# 868 RIP ZR1NET Founding Mem #155

10-07-2010	#6
FU Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Found Member Posts: 4,346	Re: Why I'm divorced..........priceless! Good one Carter

10-07-2010	#7
GrayZ Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Innsbrook, Missouri Posts: 1,728	Re: Why I'm divorced..........priceless! damn, i thought this was for real, and you were gonna say, you're divorced for let's face it...you're ugly....LOL